A Letter to my Abusive Ex-Boyfriends

To the lairs, the cheats, the emotionally and physically abusive:

You made me lose faith in myself. You convinced me that I wasn't good enough. You used your charm to brainwash me. I would believe any lie you told, all the bad stories and terrible excuses. You made me question my sanity.  You scared me into staying with you. You conned me into thinking I was nothing. I believed you when you told me you were out with friends when really you were out with someone else. Every time I tried to leave and you told me I can't otherwise you'll kill yourself; that fucked me up. You used the fact that I am a caring person against me. You lied straight to my face, straight to my family's face. You made me turn my back on my family and my friends. You took my life and threw it away for me.

It's been months since I got out. I don't talk about it often because it still hurts. You took the strong, confident person I was and destroyed me. I had to rebuild myself from the bottom up, making sure I put up some extra walls. But you didn't just destroy me, you made me stronger. I have always had the hardest time saying "no" to anyone. I have always wanted to please everyone. Now I could care less about what other people say or think. I have taken the bad people out of my life, giving me a better understanding of people.

I have seen friends in abusive relationships and always wondered how they wouldn't just leave only to find out myself and it wasn't that they wouldn't leave but they COULDN'T leave.

I have told people that you would abusive me and 99% of the time I would get "but you don't look like he's abusing you". This stigma that physical abuse is the only kind of abuse needs to stop. You destroyed me and I didn't want people to see me at my absolute worst so I hid. I hid away and told myself I could deal with it myself. But I couldn't, no one in that situation can do that alone. It took me until I told my friends and family to have the strength to find a way out.

I found a way out. You have probably moved on. I wouldn't know because I have moved on. I no longer let people who only bring me down in my life. I will only fill my life with positivity and love.

You destroyed me; but that's not the point. You destroyed me and I made it. I came out 10x better than I was before I even met you.

You made me a better person. So thank you for that.