Places on My "To Go" List

I am a huge fan of traveling and the world in general.  The idea of traveling the world and seeing different cultures amazes me. There are so many people all over the world who have different customs and cultures that if you have the opportunity to go out and see and learn about them why would you pass up that opportunity. There is only so much you can learn from a book and being able to witness the cultures first hand is the easiest way to learn about their society.

So I have compiled a list of some places on my "To Go" list. These are places that I have been wanting to visit for a while now or would like to see the history in the city.

In no specific order:

Tokyo, Japan

The Great Wall of China

Italy (The Roman Colosseum)

Monte Carlo, Monaco, France

Paris, France

Peru (Machu Picchu)

Greece

India (The Taj Mahal)

Iceland

All 50 US States

South Africa

Mexico (Chichen Itza)

Jordan (Petra)

Ireland

London, England

Manchester, England

Australia

Brazil (Christ Redeemer)

Coming Out: 6 Months Later

I have been out for 6 months now. It seems crazy. It feels like just yesterday that I was trying to convince myself there was no way I could be attracted to multiple genders let alone be multiple genders. I spent most of my life denying my sexuality and gender. I went along with what people wanted me to be and what wouldn't get me bullied. I have always had thoughts about other genders and they would always send me into panic moments because there could be no way that I could be bisexual. I was never taught anything about bisexuals. If I was taught anything about the LGBTQA+ community it was very minimum and it was about gays and lesbians. The only information I got about any other sexuality was from my peer group, which you can imagine was not the best. The one thing that sticks in my mind the most is I was always told that bisexuals are "greedy and just need to make up their minds". This really affected me as I was internally having thoughts about girls and boys like what am I? I'm not greedy, I can't be. As I got older I realized there was a lot more to the LGBTQA+ community and that it isn't what I heard about. I still didn't think about the possibility of me being gay but I stopped rejecting it. After awhile I was forced (by congress) into realizing that I am bisexual and I need to think about my sexuality. It was the day that congress passed the law that gay marriage is legal in all 50 states that I finally openly admitted to myself that I am bisexual. Now fast forward a few months and I have started to think about my gender more and more. One day I was thinking and it just came into my head. I am fluid. I don't have one gender and I don't have to. And it was within that same weekend that I came out to my family, friends and the world on this blog explaining my sexuality and gender. I have come such a far way from the scared teenager that followed what everyone wanted me to be into a very independent person. 

  

Late Night Thoughts

Is flirting cheating? If you are in a committed relationship with another person is it considered cheating to flirt with someone else? To call someone else beautiful? To tell someone else you like them? To make up cute nicknames for someone who is not your significant other? Even if you do nothing physical with them, is this cheating? When the other person finds out your are in a relationship is it moral to say that it is just your personality and how you treat everyone? Is it alright for your significant other to get angry at you for flirting with other people? What happens if you don't think flirting is cheating but your significant other does? Would you still flirt with other people or respect your significant others beliefs? If you are flirting with other people while you are in a relationship does that mean you are not happy in your relationship? These are questions that are very controversial and a lot of people disagree on what constitutes as cheating. The biggest question I have is where is the line from not cheating to cheating? A lot of people say it is physical contact. If you aren't doing anything physical you aren't cheating, but some other people believe that if you compliment someone in the same way you would compliment your significant other that is cheating. So where is the line?

Mosh Pits and Crowd Surfing

This weekend I went to see one of my favorite bands in concert, Bring Me The Horizon. I have been waiting for years to see them live and I had finally gotten the chance to see them. I have listened to their music since I was in high school and I was really excited when they were coming for their That’s The Spirit Tour. So me and my cousin bought our tickets and made our plans months in advance.

As the week of the concert came up we started to finalize our plans. The concert was on a Friday night so after I got off of work on Thursday I went over to my cousins house to spend the night so we could get ready in the morning and leave together.

We got to the venue before the doors open so we would get a good spot in the pit. We waited out in the line for two hours before we were let in. Once we were in we got really good spots about four rows from the barricade center stage. Everyone around us were really nice and very talkative. We waited another two hours until the opening band started playing and we definitely had no idea what was about to happen. As the opening band started to play the whole crowd pushed forward and we were all smashed together like cord wood; and that’s when the mosh pit started. For the next half an hour while the opener played the crowd pushed left and right and back and forth. At this point we were having fun and enjoying the new experience that was unlike anything we had ever experienced before. After the first opener was done we waited another half an hour until the second opener came on stage. Throughout this time the crowd became more and more rowdy and the pushing became more and more harder and rough. We pushed through it and were lucky enough to be around some super nice people who were looking out for us and would help to steady us and ask is we were doing okay. As the second opener came on stage the crowd was insane. The pushing was crazy and we found ourselves in the dead middle of the mosh pit being pushed and pulled in every direction. It wasn’t that bad except that we were so much shorter than everyone else so there was basically no air and we were getting elbowed and hit in every direction. After the second opener was done I couldn’t stand being in the mosh pit anymore. I was right next to a guy I recognized from the line outside and I told him that I needed help leaving so he helped lift me onto his shoulders and push me on top of the crowd while his girlfriend yelled “she needs to get out” and that’s when the crowd literally crowd surfed me from the middle of the mosh pit to the front of the stage so the security guard could lift me out of the crowd. I ran out of the front of the pit and immediately to the bathroom. My cousin followed me out so we wouldn’t get separated and it was the most intense thing we had both ever experienced.

We sat out on the side until Bring Me The Horizon started and that is when we stood up on a ledge in the back to watch the rest of the concert from there. The concert was so intense and insane. They played all of my favorite songs and we still sang and jumped around the same as if we would have if we were in the front row. I had never voluntarily sat in the back of a concert before so that was definitely a first for me but after being in the mosh pit and watching the pit get bigger and stronger I am so glad I got out when I did and that I took the time to take care of myself. I am also so thankful for the amazing people that I met who helped me throughout the concert. Whether they just asked me if I was okay, apologized for pushing or elbowing me, or helped me to get out or stabilizing me; there were so many amazing people that I met who could’ve just focused on themselves and their friends but instead decided to help others and that is purely amazing.

Bring Me The Horizon has been one of my favorite bands for years because their music has helped me to get through different things in my life and I find that their music is so powerful in the most beautiful way but after seeing them live I now have a more grateful respect for their whole fandom and them as a band. This was definitely an experience I will never forget.  

My Writing Playlist

As you might have guessed writing is a huge part of my life. I have a lot of different techniques that I use while writing to help focus and help keep from getting writers block. One of those techniques is listening to a specific genre of music. I love music and I don't listen to any specific genre on an everyday basis. Except for when I am writing. When I am writing I tend to listen to more hard rock/punk rock/screamo kind of music because I find that it calms me. (I know that may seem weird but I do find loud rock/screamo music very calming).

So I have compiled a list of some of my favorite songs to listen to while I am writing. These are only some of the songs I listen to and this is definitely not a compete or final list and it is not in any sort of order.

Feeling Thing - blink 182

Sugar, We're Goin Down - Fall Out Boy

First Date - blink 182

This Is Gospel - Panic! At the Disco

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance

Basket Case - Green Day

Dear Maria, Count Me In - All Time Low

I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic! At The Disco

The Anthem - Good Charlotte

In Too Deep - Sum 41

You're Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring

Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard

Welcome To The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

Swing, Swing - The All-American Rejects

Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional

Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous - Good Charlotte

My Own Worst Enemy - Lit

Dammit - blink-182

Stacy's Mom - Fountain Of Wayne

Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy - Fall Out Boy

The Middle - Jimmy Eat World

Scotty Doesn't Know - Lustra

When You're Around - Motion City Soundtrack

Adam's Song - blink-182

99 Red Balloons - Goldfinger

I'm Just A Kid - Simple Plan

This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race - Fall Out Boy

Just A Girl - No Doubt

Cute Without The "E" - Taking Back Sunday

Bored to Death - blink-182

Prayer Of The Refugee - Rise Against

Fat Lip - Sum 41

The Kill (Bury Me) - Thirty Seconds To Mars

All The Small Things - blink-182

MakeDamnSure - Taking Back Sunday

New Food Friday: Spinach and Pine Nut Salad

Welcome to my first New Food Friday! Where there will be a new recipe every Friday for not just me to try but I will also be sharing my experience and the recipe with you for you to try out! This week I tried a spinach and pine nut salad. The recipe is very specific but it did leave a lot of room to make changes and adjust for your own taste which is exactly what I did. I decided not to try the bread crumb topping portion of the recipe but at some point I do hope to come back and try it out. I salad was amazing. I didn't use the exact portion sizes because I was making one for myself and not 4 people, so in the end the dressing was a little to oily and not as sweet as I would've hoped.

Makes 4 servings
Prep time: 15 minutes
Cook time: 10 minutes

What you Need:

• 9oz (250g) baby spinach leaves
• handful of juicy raisins (optional)
• 3 1/2oz (100g) sun-dried tomatoes, roughly chopped
• 1 3/4oz (50g) pine nuts, toasted
• (I also used dried cranberries which were delicious) 

FOR THE DRESSING

• 3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• 1 tbsp orange juice 
• pinch of sugar
• salt and freshly ground black pepper

FOR THE BREAD CRUMB TOPPING

• 2-3 slices of (gluten-free) bread, torn
• pinch of dried chili flakes

What to Do:  

1. For the dressing, mix the ingredients together in a bowl, taste, and adjust the seasoning as needed. Set aside. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
2. For the bread crumb topping, put the bread in a food processor and pulse to form crumbs. Pour the crumbs into a roasting pan and bake for 5-10 minutes, or until golden. Don't let them brown. Stir the chili flakes and salt and pepper into the crumbs. Set aside. 
3. To assemble the salad, pour the dressing into a large salad bowl and swirl it around. Add the spinach leaves and shake so they get coated. Add the raisins (if using) and sun-dried tomatoes and toss gently. Top with the pine-nuts, sprinkle the bread crumbs over the top, and serve. 

Statistics per Salad:

Energy: 270kcals/1124kJ
Protein: 6g
Fat: 19g
Saturated Fat: 2g
Carbohydrate: 17.5g
Sugar: 9.5g
Fiber: 4g
Salt: 0.8g

Recipe from:
The Gluten-Free Cookbook By Heather Whinney, Jane Lawrie, and Fiona Hunter.

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My Tattoos and Why They Mean so Much to Me

I got my first tattoo when I was 18. I went with some of my friends and I didn't need to think hard about what I wanted. I got a small treble clef behind my left ear. For my first tattoo this was the most obvious thing for me to get. Music is the most stable thing in my life. Everything was constantly changing and I was getting really good at handling change but when I needed to be brought down to reality music is always there.  I was in choir for 13 years during school and I'm not sure I could have gotten through some days without it. I can't see my tattoo because it is behind my ear but every time someone points it out or talks about music I think about it and how much music has impacted my life.

I got my second tattoo only a few weeks after I got my first one. My second tattoo I had planned out for two years before I could get it done. The design of it had transformed in various different ways over the two years until I had designed the perfect one for me. The tattoo is lyrics from my favorite song from one of my favorite bands. The song is "Sanctuary" by Paradise Fears. The lyrics say "Even Broken Wings Can Fly Away" and next to the lyrics I have the bands logo that they call the "warrior heart." These lyrics are my favorite from the song and have always stuck out to me. To me the lyrics mean that no matter what happens to me I will always be okay, and that even though I've been through difficult times I can still follow my dreams and goals. Whenever I am struggling with ambition or change I look at my tattoo and remember that I can do whatever I put my mind to.

My third tattoo I got as a message to myself that no matter what other people say being myself will always be more rewarding than hiding just to fit societies standards and that there will always be people who love me regardless of what I do, who I love or how I identify myself. The tattoo is lyrics from Walk the Moon's song "Different Colors", the lyrics say "we carry each other" and are written in the lead singer, Nick Petricca's, hand writing. The song was originally written as a fight song for the LGBTQ+ society but the song was released as a single the same time congress declared that gay marriage is legal in all 50 states and the song turned into an anthem. The song first came out on Walk the Moon's, Talking is Hard, CD around the same time I was first questioning my gender and sexuality and I latched myself onto the song. It was the only song I listened to for month's straight. When I came to terms with my sexuality my roommate at the time knew how much the song meant to me and came up with the idea for the tattoo. Everyday I look down at my collar bone and see those words written out and remember that I am truly not alone.

My most recent tattoo I got on December 12, 2015. I remember the exact date because I got the roman numerals for the date December 6, 2015 tattooed right underneath my "we carry each other" tattoo. That date is significant to me because that is the day I came out as bisexual and gender fluid not only to my friends and family but to the world. This was such a huge step for me. I had basically came out to everyone all at one time and there was no going back, but once I did I felt instantly relieved like the biggest weight had been lifted off of me. I no longer have to hide behind a wall pretending to be someone I'm not. Everyday I get to look at the date that I took that huge step that has changed me and my life. 

I adore all of my tattoos and their stories, I always sit anxiously for someone to ask me about them so I can talk about them. I'm looking forward to getting more because tattoos are one of the best ways to express yourself while leaving a piece of your history on you as a remembrance.