Old Poetry {2015}

"You asked me if I was okay today,
I said yes
and you believed me.
silly boy,
I’m not okay
and it’s all because of you."

"I just want someone to look me in the eyes
and tell me they know,
they know I’m lying
about my love for him,
and it is going to be okay."

"I don’t know quite when this all started,
maybe it was when we first met
or maybe it was after the first few nights of just being together,
making new friends and getting to know each other
or maybe it was that night,
the night we got drunk with our friends
we made mistakes,
or so we say,
but do you really think that night was a mistake?
because a part of me doesn’t think it was."

"I know everyone is judging me,
because of you
I fell so hard for you;
I can’t help that
and yet I have to sit here
by myself,
because no one understands
what I am putting myself through
for someone who is just hurting me."

"You have a tendency to pretend I don't exist,
and I have a tendency to ignore everyone else while you’re around,
except lately our tendencies have been switching
and I’m not sure if you are for real or not.
probably not."

"I hate this feeling;
this feeling I get in the pit of my stomach
every time I get too close
to someone who just wants to hurt me."

"You said to me, “I’m not at that point yet”
I don’t know what that point is,
but I hope with all my heart
you get there soon."

"Everyone tells me how you’re not good for me
and I know that I could do so much better,
but in the end all I want is your cute baby face
and annoying personality all to myself."

"Earlier this week, I told you how I felt about you;
you weren’t up for talking
or listening
so you left me.
A few days later, I saw you for the first time in days;
I asked where my best friend was
and you couldn’t talk without messing up your words.
The next day you came to dinner with us,
you gave me that look
the look that was always meant for flirting,
except now I just don’t know.
Are you just playing games or for real?"

"It’s sad how someone can go from your everything
to nothing in a matter of minutes
and you can’t do anything about it.
It’s even worse when they were just a dream the whole time."


"I caught you looking today
well not quite looking,
or glancing,
but more like studying
like you were memorizing every inch of me
so you would never forget."