"Oh, You're Shaking!"

Stranger: "Oh, you're shaking!"
Me: "Oh, yeah I know. I have tremors. It happens all the time."
Stranger: "Oh, I didn't notice before."
Me: "Yeah"

This is a conversation I have with not only strangers but basically everyone I come in contact with. Living a life with Essential Tremors is basically a life sentence for me to say the words "I know I shake, don't talk about it it makes it worse." every time I come in contact with someone new. This does not bother me as much anymore because after years of just answering with "yeah I shake okay thanks." I've gotten used to it. But I came in contact with someone recently that made me think differently.

For anyone who doesn't know what Essential Tremors is it is a nervous system disorder that causes rhythmic shaking throughout someones arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet and tongue. I have gotten used to it for the most part over the years, but I do have troubles writing, eating, drinking, and doing certain things if it gets bad. I have found ways that makes it easier for me to do those things if I find my tremors is too bad on a certain day, for instance; typing instead of writing, eating with smaller utensils, and drinking from a straw.

Now recently I was training for a new job and it was something that would cause someone anxiety or frustration. Someone with anxiety in a situation like the kind of training I was going through might have been very stressed and that would cause them to shake. One of the people I was with pointed out my shaking in almost the same manner as the conversation at the top. I did not think much about it at first but after awhile I thought "wait, they had no idea about my disorder. They must've thought I was just very anxious." This wasn't the part that bothered me. It bothered me that the person pointed out something they 1) had no idea what was going on with me, and 2) they didn't say anything to make me feel better. I am assume if I had said "oh I am just nervous" they would have something to the point "it's not that bad, you are doing fine." but since I just have a disorder and it wasn't anxiety why would they feel the need to say anything; but how did he know it wasn't also anxiety.

People with anxiety are pushed to their limits all the time, and no one really knows because they are forced to hide it away in order to be "normal" in society. Unfortunately, some people have more things; disorders, disabilities, that make their anxiety worse, whether they like it or not. When I am in an stressful situation my tremors gets so much worse and I can't hide that I am anxious.

A lesson for society; if you are going to ask someone else about something that is probably very personally, make sure you want the answer and are ready to say the right thing to make them feel good about themselves if they tell you.

A lesson to people with disabilities/disorders; it is okay not to tell people about your personal life. Your disabilities/disorders are yours and if anyone asks they don't need an answer.